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My Dad Could Beat Up Your Dad/Transcript
Stacey: And uh, and then... and then when they wouldn't let us in, my dad, he pushed the security guard. Yeah. And he said um, he said "You're stupid". James: What? Stacey: Yeah. James: Yeah right, Jackson! Your dad wouldn't push a security guard! Stacey: Yeah. My dad is the strongest dad in the world. He pushes who he wants. James: Yeah, well, my dad could beat up your dad. Stacey: Nu-uh! James: Uh-huh. Stacey: No. James: Yeah-huh. Stacey: No, he can't! James: Yes! Stacey: No. Matt: Hello, classmates. You seem to be having a lively debate this morning. James: Yeah, well, Jackson said his dad could beat up my dad, but I know my dad could beat up his dad. Matt: I see. I believe my father can incapacitate both of your fathers. Either individually or at the same time. How many weapons will our fathers be permitted to use? James: What? Stacey: Weapons? Matt: Ah, hand to hand combat then. My father will likely employ his mastery of aikido or tai chi chuan. Which martial arts do your fathers ascribe to? James: I... I don't think my dad- Matt: On second thought, don't tell me. It's more enjoyable for my father to find out in the moment. Matt: Will this fight take place in a formal setting, or will they just have 48 hours to complete the objective? James: I don't know, my dad has to work a lot. Stacey: Yeah. Matt: As does mine. He spent the last six months working on Operation Flying Dragon. Stacey: Whoa. What's that? Matt: It's the reason you're speaking English today. James: My dad works at Comcast. Matt: I see. Then my father will really enjoy this. Stacey: And like... my dad, he doesn't know all that karate stuff. Matt: Then he will die quickly. Stacey: What? James: What? Matt: Are there any ground rule you'd like to lay out, such as no biting, kicking, or erasing all traces of your father's existence? James: Yeah, let's... let's say that's not a possible. Stacey: Yeah. Matt: Very well. I'm assuming psychological tactics are still fair game? How opposed are you to biological weapons? I'm just kidding. My father's not a monster. What about waterboarding? Stacey: What?! What? James: I don't think my dad wants to fight your dad. Stacey: Yeah. Matt: Of course, he doesn't, but sometimes our fathers must do things they wish they didn't have to. See things they wish they could unsee. James: Ow. Matt: This world is a dark place, and our fathers must work in the darkness in order to protect what little light there is. So, should we give our fathers the go sign? Stacey: No, no, no, no! James: No, no, no, no! It's okay. Your dad could beat up my dad. Stacey: Yeah. Matt: Very well. Good day, classmates. Stacey: Bye. Stacey: Hello father. I gathered the intel you asked for. James: My dad works at Comcast. Category:Season 7